Wednesday, March 26, 2014

A Boring Update

I really don't have anything to report, lap band-wise. My consultation is next week, and I'm really looking forward to it. I called today to make an appointment for the psychological evaluation, but the secretary said she didn't know if she could make the appointment because I wasn't going to THEIR bariatric center (even though my surgeon's office recommended him to me.. so that was confusing). I explained to her that I was getting the lap band with another doctor (who is actually part of the network, but has a different office than the psychologist). She said she had to ask the director and call me back tomorrow. I thought that was odd, but okay. I will try to make the psych appointment (seriously, I always write psycho, lol) for the same day as my consultation, but we will see.

If they can't get me in, I'm going to look for another psychologist that can get me in quickly. That's the only thing standing in between myself and my surgery. Hopefully my surgeon can still schedule the surgery when I see him for the consultation. Hoping for surgery before May 1st. I've read a lot of reviews and it seems that this doctor can get you into surgery relatively quickly. I'm happy about that. He also has 100% on the reviews that I've read about him. I'm so excited about going to see him next Thursday!!

In other news, we are closing on our house on April 4th!! It's gonna be an awesome week!! It's also nice that my birthday is tomorrow ;) my husband planned something, but I'm not 100% sure what he planned yet!

Nothing else really happening, but planning on doing a lot of pre- and post-surgery planning in the next few weeks, so I'll try to post about that. I saw something about a protein shake company on Hollee's blog, so I might hop over there tonight to check it out as I am watching Survivor :)

Thanks for reading, all. Hope this week is going well with you!

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Consultation Scheduled!

Today was a good day, in more ways than one.

First, I called into my surgeon's office to verify that they got my paperwork. (Sidenote: I learned yesterday that my printer can also be used a fax machine, so instead of dealing with trying to send my paperwork via email for the fourth time - seriously - I faxed that sucker off and it went off without a hitch.) Anyway, I called and I scheduled my consultation for April 3rd! I wanted to get in early, wishful thinking, but I took the first appointment that they had available. I'll have to take the day off of work because I have to drive two hours to my surgeon's office, but I don't want to wait any longer. I'll be meeting with the surgeon and the dietician on that day. All I need to do now is schedule the psych (I totally typed psycho there) evaluation, which I can do here in my city. Hoping to have the done by the time I go see my surgeon so I can schedule my surgery!

I'm really hoping for a surgery in late April/early May. If I don't schedule it then, I will have to wait until June because I am going to Paris at the end of May, and it would get in the way of doctor's appointments/surgery recovery time/the liquid phase. My husband is coming with me to my appointment and I'm a little afraid that I will start crying, which happened to me at the first seminar I went to, and that will be a little embarrassing. Ah, emotions.

Second, non-WLS related, I got news that we might close on our house a week early! I'm pretty stoked about this, and it could happen the same week that I have my consultation. Can you say, YAY?! Two awesome things happening in the same week!

Finally, today is Tuesday and that means I only have three more days of work this week - but Friday is just finals for my students. Then my husband and I are going to a painting class on Friday night... that should be... interesting...

I hope everyone is having a fabulous week!

Thanks for reading!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Making the Decision

Many years ago, an old friend of mine got Lap-Band surgery. We were only 19 years old, and I thought that an interesting process that she had to go through. All I really remember was that she drank a lot of liquids before the surgery, and the small incision scars that she showed me after the surgery was over. She went on to lose a lot of weight, I'm not sure how much, and now is married and has a baby.

Fast forward eight years, and I'm sitting in the exact same spot that she was all the years ago. I've been overweight pretty much my entire life. I do not remember a time in my life that I haven't been overweight. I remember being about 10 years old, sitting in my bathroom and looking at my stomach, telling myself that it would "stretch out" and "go away" when I got taller. That didn't happen. I got a little bit taller, but I definitely didn't get thinner. I got heavier and heavier as the years went on. I played sports until I was 18, but I was still overweight.

I joined Weight Watchers with my mom, and dropped maybe 30-40 pounds. But I still ate horribly. I'm definitely an emotional eater. I had a couple horrible years in my early 20s where I hated my life and everything about it, mixed with living alone, and I started to really pack on the pounds. I was convinced I would never find a man to marry me, or have children, or find a great job. When I graduated from college, I went onto graduate school where I really flourished. My personality shined. I didn't worry about my weight because I had friends who liked me, I had a great social life, I was doing well in my classes.

At the end of graduate school, I met my now-husband online. He lived in a different country, so I booked a ticket to go "visit" him (I ended up staying two years). I was fearful that he would instantly reject me upon seeing me in real life, even though we had Skyped for hours on end, months in advance. He had seen me with makeup, without makeup, in dressy clothes, in pajamas, full body, only face, everything. I hated my body, and was afraid of what he really thought. He was a skinny, 150-pound man that I had fallen in love with, and I had so many doubts in my head that he could love a woman as big as me.

But, he did (and does) love me. Pure love. I gained weight while I've been with him and he tells me every day that he loves me, that he thinks I am sexy and beautiful. We've been trying to have a baby for about a year now, unsuccessfully. I've lost some weight, here and there, but never been successful at keeping it off.

So, long story short, I decided to get Lap-Band as a tool to help me lose the weight, permanently. I'm hoping to meet with a surgeon in the next few weeks for a consultation and schedule my surgery. I'm paying out of pocket because my insurance excludes the surgery, but no cost will stop me. My plan is to get the surgery, lose a significant amount of weight, and try to have a baby in another year or so.

I am scared, I won't lie. But this is what I need and want, and nothing will get in my way.

Thanks for reading.